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Your child finishes HSC - what now?

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For 18 years now you have cared for them, cooked their every meal, held their hand as they crossed the road and witnessed every miraculous ‘first’ you can imagine. And now, as the HSC comes to an end and the new rounds of ‘firsts’ start, for parents, it can be a time of sorrow. For this year, we have witnessed round after round of not first experiences, but last experiences.

This week, students will officially have no more high school exams ever. That means all the hard work, study and torture they have put themselves through is finally the merit of some good, parent-free fun. They deserve it, and they have worked endlessly for their freedom. And for us parents, it means no more boring assembly attendance and no more sporting days and all the time in the world to reminisce.

While there are things you will surely not miss, like wiping their nose, shoveling food into their mouth and bribing them to eat their bloody greens; for now it seems, with the completion of these final set of exams, a part of our role has become redundant. And that redundancy as a parent can be a bit frightening.

For the majority of year 12 students in NSW, at the completion of their final exams they are 18 years of age and are able to walk legally into a bar and grab a drink or five. And they don’t want to have a drink with Mum or Dad down at the local, they want to be with their friends, who have endured the same HSC exams as they have, and sat through three hours’ worth of mathematic equations, business studies and standard English literature.

Mixed feelings...

We are thrilled for them. They have their freedom, they can go get a job and await the planning of their future lives. We can watch them serve us from behind the bar or café and finally have some time to earn a bit of decent-ish cash in their pockets. But also, we are nostalgic. A large part of our parenting role has come to an end and it lends to the reminder that part of us, part of our role as parents, has become redundant.

Being a parent means guiding our children through all the times they need us, and knowing when it is time to let go. The end of the HSC, with all its hype and surrounding stress, is indeed one of those times. Perhaps it is the biggest time for us outside of walking them to school on their first day at five years old. It can be emotional - seeing our teenagers spread their wings into the world as adults.

Additionally, there is also the need to distinguish the new rules between your school-leaver and their younger siblings, who are looking on with mouths wide open in envy on their older sibling's new found freedom. It creates new dynamics in the home, with one out on a school night until after hours, and no longer in the school drop-off routine. New influences can come into the house (the eldest can now drink with the adults at Sunday roast), and the routine that the family has struggled to achieve, has been disrupted again.

So, what now?

For us as parents, now that the endless and tireless hours of study are over, there is not much of a choice. It’s time to take the back seat as they go to schoolies, end of year parties to have some fun and maybe drink too much for one night. While watching them in torture studying is one thing, letting them have their freedom can in fact be more daunting. But it’s time to stop worrying and sit back and watch.

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