Are you a parent of a teenage boy?

As a parent, there is nothing more terrifying than watching your boy mature into a man. From the time they hit 13 years old, it’s as though an alien has invaded their body and they turn into something you’ve never quite seen before. They eat bucket loads, they have more energy than one could ever imagine, they sleep endlessly, and then you can’t help but wonder where that sweet happy-go-lucky boy disappeared to.

At about the age of 13 years old, on some level or another, we are meant to think of them as men. But truth be told, this is only true for about 20% of the time. This is the time where they start to stride towards adulthood, make attempts at becoming an adult and swear on anything that they deserve the later curfew. However, we see all too frequently the garbage not being taken out, the milo glass in the corner of their room that’s been there a week, and they continue to wrestle with their much younger (and smaller) sister.

The mystery of puberty

It’s a constant struggle with what they look like versus what they are. Puberty for teenage boys, as parents, is a mystery. For most of us, puberty is just that awkward time we experienced maybe 20 years ago. Sometimes we remember it fondly, and other of us, remember all the awkwardness it presented during an already difficult time. It’s no overnight event, despite what their voices may sound like from one day to another, and the pace at which one experiences puberty is completely different for all.

For one thing, we need to understand that boys, with all their energy and high level of activity, in turn, need more rest. As bizarre as it is, endless sleep and passing out in the middle of a video game is actually normal. It’s their body’s way of telling them to slow down. As teenagers, they are served with brand new hormones that can get them racing and racing, and they aren’t quite sure how to make these surges of energy stop. So sleeping for long periods of time, while we think it may seem lazy or unambitious, it’s actually quite normal for young growing men.

Additionally, have you watched television with them lately? There is a severe lack of positive male teenage role models for our teenage sons. It becomes a concern to see just what is expected of them as they grow older. If the media is portraying young men as lazy, sexist and inconsistent, then it becomes harder as parents to demonstrate just what is expected of our boys.

Do you also find your refrigerator has been invaded? They are growing. Every day it seems. Endless. You do a shop for the week, and by Tuesday you’re wondering where all the snacks went for the other kids’ lunch boxes. Just how much can they possibly eat? The answer is that it will stop. During growth spirts it’s natural for young males to have a huge increase in food intake. While as parents we tend to forget this, remember it will stop eventually. It may take a year or two, but yes they will find an eating pattern that will sustain for a long period of time.

Coping with teenage boys

Watching our boys transition into men is a scary thing for most parents. There are days when it’s exciting, but sometimes we just long for that little boy to appear in his Batman costume and run up and cuddle mum or dad for no reason at all. One thing we can do, is be there for our boys. When they talk, LISTEN.

Communication is such a vital part in parent and son relationships. Ask him what he’d do if he was a parent, they want rules, but they want a say in the rules as well. Teenage boys are hard, hard to discipline and hard to reward. But we love our sons, so at the end of the day, try to find the best balance for everyone.

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