Is parenting teenage girls that different?

Boys and girls, we try to treat them the same, provide the same expectations, hopes and dreams, let them know they can be anything they desire. But is it really that easy when in 2017 equal pay still isn’t established? CEO boards are dominated by male bravado, and women still do more than 60% of the household work?

Teenagers are tricky. They are like babies we let fly into adulthood to make big decisions when really, they should still be wearing diapers and told when to go to bed. Anyone raising teenagers knows this. We must make the sound decision of how much knowledge to install in them, how much input we should have in their life, and just how far should we let them decide for themselves.

We worry about different things

In this day and age, there are still so many perils that differentiate male and female teenage roles, and how they act and are reacted to in society. There are certainly different pressures that face women and men in adulthood that start the moment we hit puberty. With our teenage girls, we need to worry about what they wear, how much makeup they put on, where are they allowed to go, who are they spend time with, and where are they going with these friends. These worries, I doubt add up to the same amount with boys.

When we worry about our teenagers it is hard to argue that we don’t deflect in the same way about our girls and boys. We worry about who our girls hang out with because as adults we know that when rape occurs, in nine out of ten occasions, it is by someone known to the victim. We also know, from daily media reports that young men are more likely to be attacked at random on the street in an act of violence by complete strangers.

Consider our biases

It’s not easy to remove the unconscious bias that as parents, we develop. But the differences in how men and women develop are clear from the start of their teenage years. The emotions that girls experience can seem overwhelming with the onset of breasts, sexualised feelings, and weight gain. We see the sexualisation of women in almost every form of media and it’s unrealistic to think this doesn’t play a role in how confident our daughters feel. Adolescent men do not have this level of visual expectation placed upon them and as a result, we don’t see these types of repercussions as often.

You may often hear the saying ‘teenage girls don’t get along with their mums.’ Is there merit to this? Unfortunately, yes. Do you remember growing up and wanting to wear your mother’s clothes or borrow her earrings? There is a greater desire for girls to be more turbulent with their mothers to distinguish themselves as individuals. While girls will fight with their fathers as well, the fights tend to be less outwardly emotional. This lends to greater confusion between girls and their mothers, who for years tried to mimic their actions.

Is parenting teenage girls that different?

It depends who you ask. Teenagers are no easy job whether they are male or female. But we do know generally speaking, girls tend to be a lot more vocal with their emotions, which makes for a much louder household.

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